Welcome to PostpartumDads

Postpartum Depression (PPD) is a serious illness that impacts the entire family.  Without effective intervention it can cause great suffering and serious damage to families. In rare cases it can lead to suicide or murder.  However, in most cases, with proper treatment and support, a woman and her family can fully recover from PPD.  This website is intended to help dads and families by providing firsthand information and guidance through the experience of PPD.  This site also includes information and resources that can be used by professionals to assist families dealing with PPD.  We hope that you find the information on this website useful and we welcome comments and suggestions.

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5 Responses to Welcome to PostpartumDads

  1. postpartumdads says:

    Tara,
    I think if you were to talk to my wife she would tell you that she firmly believes the depression she suffered was caused by the hormonal changes she experienced while stopping breastfeeding. She was doing great the first 3 months, spiraled down to a low point after stopping breastfeeding, took medication to help recover, and is doing fantastic now. The same cycle repeated with our second child.

    Obviously this is not the case for all women. All women face different circumstances and need different types of support and resources. My goal is to help dads understand what they may be up against and try to support them.

    My biggest concern is many women do not get any help and suffer depression that could be treated. This often destroys the family and causes damage that could be avoided. I hope that we can remove the stigma surrounding PPD so that it’s not an insult to suggest that someone may need medication to recover like my wife did.

  2. Marco Clarot says:

    My wife is currently in treatment for postpartum depression. My son is 6 months old and we have a daughter who is almost 4 years old. I have left work early several times and taken days off to try and help. She says She doesn’t have my support but I need to work to pay our bills. We are very tight with money and I have the opportunity to work weekends to make extra money but my wife doesn’t want me to. I need to work these hours to pay our rent and bills. I don’t know what to do or say to her anymore. I feel like I’m gonna lose my mind. I’m always stressed and I’be gotten to the point were I dread getting a call or text from her when I’m at work.

  3. Steve says:

    My girlfriend is being treated for postpartum anxiety and OCD. She has a lot of family issues from the past with her parents as well as PTSD from an attack she suffered before we met. It seems like everyday is a struggle just to get her to listen to me. Its like im fighting against a whole list of worries, thoughts, etc. she constantly has on her mind. I dread asking her to hand me a spoon or asking her a simple question because it then turns into me having to repeat myself 4 or 5 times because she isnt focused, is still “waking up”, or she is worried about the baby dying every time she turns around. My main argument with her is that she expects me to listen when she talks to me but when its her turn to listen, I end up becoming incredibly frustrated repeating and explaining everything multiple times. And then she says im a jerk or why am i so cold to her? She has low self esteem and no matter how supportive i try to be, she is constantly sidetracked by instrusive thoughts of something happening to the baby or having to deal with her parents. What i manage to finally get out of her is that she dreads conflict with them but now she also dreads being around me because we argue daily. So im left wondering if we should even be together because I truly care about her but where has the love gone? I love our son deeply and he is just a big ball of energy and joy but i feel so empty not having a partner to share it with….much less talk to. Instead of getting mad, i try to just leave the room and distance myself but i know the problem will still be there. She is in a constant fog and theres nothing i can do about it. She doesnt seem the least bit motivated to go to her therapist and says shes waiting for them to call her. My parents and friends of mine are supportive of me and think that maybe the relationship has run its course and its time to get out but im stuck with the idea that im abandoning her. She has on more than one occasion told me that all i really want to do is leave her with nothing and everything is in my name (car, etc.). So this kind of stuff weighs on my mind. I would and will continue to do everything to support my son but as far as my girlfriend, i dont know if our relationship can be saved. Sometimes i think life would be so much easier if we were seperated but still being good parents together. I work and go to school and try to help out as much as i can. I get angry frequently because it feels like she isnt listening to me but expects me to help her out more which i feel is unfair. I know she has PPD and anixety but it often feels like im going up to bat 9 out of 10 times in our relationship with nothing to really aim for.

  4. Don Simms says:

    Really need some advice. Me and my wife have been together for going on 10 years and married 9 next week. We had a great relationship, or as I thought. We have a 5 year old boy and a 1 year old. 4 months ago my wife was sassy asked her whats going on and she said she wasn’t happy for some reason. Ask her if it was me, and she didn’t know. Asked if it was the kids or work, and she didn’t know. So I told her she needs to go talk to someone about it. Said it may be a bunch of things and when I said maybe post postpartum depression She blew up! Told me how dare I say she didn’t live her kids or would hurt them. I said I never said that, I just said it may be that. Well, she got mad and went for a drive to call her mom. When she got back she gave me the cold shoulder for a week. I kept trying to talk to her them she said with the boys not letting her sleep and me bugging her she’s going to go to a hotel to rest and think about this.
    When she got home she said she was unhappy in our relationship and doesn’t want to do counseling or anything. I was/am devastated. Just before this came about she was always telling me how great I was and how much she loved me. And we just had our 2nd boy and he was only 8 months at that time. Now, all she wants to do is argue and blame me for everything. Says I’m verbally abusive, when I’ve never cursed or even raised my voice with her. I’ve always cherished her and stood by her. She was admitted into the hospital before about 5-6 times for a week at a time and I never left her side. I just went home to shower and change then slept on a chair next to her. I dealt like I always treated her great. I went to work and then came home and spent time with her and my boys. Even her family tells me they thought we were great. We do have our moments now where we get along but she’s still looking for an apt but can’t afford it on her own. But then she go’s back to snapping and arguing with me again.
    My therapist and a lot of friends says it’s ppd and she really doesn’t know what would make her happy but she’s just blaming all on me. She’s never home except in the morning when I’m at work, then once I get home she takes off to work or where ever.
    I miss and love her so much and just want my wife and my family back. My five year old is getting the worst of it though. He’s never been so close to me as he is right now. Cause if I’m not at work, I’m there, with him and the baby. I’m their rock. If it wasn’t for them I would have left her a long time ago but then again if it’s ppd. Then she’s sick, and ill stand by her side. But I don’t know how much more of this I can take, I’m getting all the backlash from her. My preacher that lives next door to me and a lot of others tell me to say as little as possible to her, be there for her if she needs me and be patient. I dnt know what to do. And advice or just done words would be greatly appreciated. God bless.

  5. Shadie says:

    Hello my name is shadie. I have recently been blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Bentlie Faith Souksavanh Searle was born- July/20th/2017 and is my fiancé and I first baby. We joyfully found out the great news of being pregnant last Christmas Eve!! I have never been so happy. So we started seeing a OBGYN regularly. As the months go by things have been great. July 19th at 3:45am her water broke so we rushed to the hospital. The time came for delivery and our beautiful baby girl was crowning. So I was right there emotionally supporting her because I could only imagine how scary it was for her. I mean wow I’ve never been so scared and happy. Once our baby girl was delivered, I cut the umbilical cord. Even though I was scared to because I didn’t want to accidentally do something wrong, but I wanted to experience giving the last step to the beginning of our baby girls life. The first time I set eyes on her she stole my heart! At that exact moment nothing else mattered, but my baby girl and fiancé. I then new the true feeling of love❤ as a father. I have always been a type of person who is usually happy and a go getter, who tries to always see the positive in any situation. But after we left hospital with our little girl I feel like things have changed. Don’t get me wrong I am so happy and blessed to have my daughter, and my fiancé is a great mom. But for some reason I feel so bummed out lately and sad. I feel discluded from everything. We moved in with my fiancé parents to get help while we saved up for a home for our family. My fiancé is Laotian and her parents first language Laos. They no English but they speak Lao all the time with her. So I feel like I’m never included in on anything. Idk why but I feel so alone and left out that my heart hurts. But I know that I should not feel this way because I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful fiancé. Even knowing this I still can’t help how I feel. I feel as if I’m less important to my fiancé then her parents are or even our daughter. I feel like my opinion doesn’t mean much and that her’s and her parents opinion is what counts now. Her and I have always been a team. We have always made decisions and choice’s together. Her and I were one another’s other half. But now why do I not feel equal to her. I am so sad and my heart is hurt, because I am the one who loved being there 100% of the way. I was there with her at our OBGYN appointments, and I was the one who loved talking care of her when she was hurting or not feeling good. I was there holding her hair back out of her face when she had morning sickness and was getting sick. We went through everything together as a team. Even though sometimes when her hormones made her grumpy and mad and she was grumpy or mad to me. My feeling’s may feel hurt but I knew she didn’t mean it and that I couldn’t begin to imagine what she is going through while being pregnant. I would take her hand and hug her tight while brushing my fingers through her hair telling her it’s okay I’m right here, that I got you baby and I will always be here. But now i can’t stop feeling like i matter less than I use to………. I’m so sad and I keep being distant even though I try and try my hardest not to be. I feel insecure and depressed. I have never been depressed like this. I take everything personal to the heart and my feeling’s get hurt. I heard about (PPD)
    and I googled the symptoms. Is it possible for Dad to get (PPD)? I think I have it………… What do I do?? I don’t want to feel this way anymore.

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