Every month we get at least one email or phone call that follows a very similar pattern. Sometime, either during the pregnancy or within a few months of birth, the dad starts to feel rejected by his partner. Here are some typical examples:
“We did not have a perfect marriage, but it was pretty good. About mid-pregnancy she wanted to leave, then she came back. Our baby is 6 months old now, and she wants to leave again. She says she feels numb and disconnected from me….In every other way she seems to be normal. Is it possible, that she seems happy in everything else she is doing, but she has singled me out?”
“I believe my wife is suffering from a postpartum mood disorder, but refuses treatment. I have tried to convince her to see a psychiatrist because she may need medication, but she says her issues have nothing to do with any physiological issue. She has asked me for a separation. I am at a loss for where to turn.”
Please visit the links on the side bar for some thoughts on dealing with rejection. Also please visit Stories From Dads . As you will see reading through the stories, there are no easy answers for this problem. These situations often lead to divorce and legal battles of over the children.
Sometimes the women are dealing with disorders other then PPD. Many of the dads describe symptoms and behavior that may be attributed to Borderline Personality Disorder. We highly recommend that you visit BPDCentral.com to learn about Borderline Personality Disorder. We also highly recommend reading Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason. This is an excellent book for someone who is living with a partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.