Every month we get at least one email or phone call that follows a very similar pattern. Sometime, either during the pregnancy or within a few months of birth, the dad starts to feel rejected by his partner. Here are some typical examples:
“We did not have a perfect marriage, but it was pretty good. About mid-pregnancy she wanted to leave, then she came back. Our baby is 6 months old now, and she wants to leave again. She says she feels numb and disconnected from me….In every other way she seems to be normal. Is it possible, that she seems happy in everything else she is doing, but she has singled me out?”
Bruce
“I believe my wife is suffering from a postpartum mood disorder, but refuses treatment. I have tried to convince her to see a psychiatrist because she may need medication, but she says her issues have nothing to do with any physiological issue. She has asked me for a separation. I am at a loss for where to turn.”
Jerry
Please visit the links on the side bar for some thoughts on dealing with rejection. Also please visit Stories From Dads . As you will see reading through the stories, there are no easy answers for this problem. These situations often lead to divorce and legal battles of over the children.
Sometimes the women are dealing with disorders other then PPD. Many of the dads describe symptoms and behavior that may be attributed to Borderline Personality Disorder. We highly recommend that you visit BPDCentral.com to learn about Borderline Personality Disorder. We also highly recommend reading Stop Walking on Eggshells by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason. This is an excellent book for someone who is living with a partner with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Hi my name is Patrick
This website has given me some hope im not alone in all of this.Below is my story
Me and my girlfriend have had our baby for about 7.5 months now. We had some trouble at the start because we werent really planning to have a child but she here and i love it. It was ok for the first two months with the new baby here and everything was going to go back to normal between my girlfriend and I assumed let me tell you I was so wrong. Where at the 7.5 month mark now and really have know physical contact but a kiss now and then. Finally after about 7 months we finally talked about what was happening with us and really i dont know anymore. She says shes not seeing me that way anymore but she will try to put the effort in to be more affectionate. I thought this whole thing would blow over but now im fighting to keep me in this thing. I am at the point i know it sound bad but just to walk away because the stress im under and the affection that im not having i really dont know if she wants to be with at all. If anyone has some input for me i really willing to stick it out and hope this turns around because i do really love her and i want this family to work.
Someone please give me a good ending story!
My wife gave birth to our 2nd child June 2010. A couple of months later she started to change. A friend mentioned postpartum but my understanding was that is when the mother harms her children and my wife would never do that.
Being ignorant of PPD, I went on trying to be as nice as possible for the next 2 months. You know doing all the cooking, cleaning, etc.. Then we had a unimportant argument and the next day she took the kids (24 mo’s and 4 mo’s) and went to a shelter. That was over 3 weeks ago. I have seen my family since! The police came, there were no charges on me of any kind. A week later a detective from Child protective services came to my house with allegations of child abuse??? Their investigation was completed in 20 minutes. Obviously no child abuse. Later I was told by the investigator on my wife’s end that she was charging me with verbal abuse. OMG! What the hell is going on. The shelter won’t give me any information and nobody, including my wife believes that having 2 births in a 20 month span, her father passing the day after the 2nd birth, being from another country and missing her family and friends has nothing to do with what’s up with her!
Can someone tell me how long it takes for a shelter to evaluate a new resident for PPD?
Can someone tell me a short about their wives having PPD, being separated and getting back together and living happily ever after?
I am at my wit’s end. I had the paramedic at my house yesterday. Was very close to going to the hospital. I fear I will end up there soon if I can’t get help and answers!
Someone please email me with any help or good story. I love my wife and children more than life itself. I can’t live if we are not together!!
Someone please help!