My now ex-girlfriend Justine and I have been having some difficulties that pre-existed our baby being born 4 months ago. There have been arguments where she has broken things, screamed at the top of her lungs, cried out that she was being raped and attacked so the neighbors would call the police on me, and the list goes on and on.
Since the baby has been born things have gotten worse. Up until very very recently she has refused treatment, claiming that she can beat what it was that she was going through, and she didn’t want to be “labelled”.
I find myself now emotionally unable to deal with any of the things that she’s going through. My analogy for all of this is not unlike a swimming pool. I feel like she’s the pool of water and I’ve been trying to tread in it. Constantly, and without fail, I’ve had my head put underwater without adequate time to regain my breath.
Justine and I broke up earlier this week, and she took the baby with her. I feel like I’ve been able to get out of the pool, but now she’s chasing me with a garden hose, and it’s making me afraid of the water.
She’s agreed to get treatment, but she’s crying to me on the phone nearly daily about how she just wants her family back, and how I need to be super supportive, and how she wants to move back into the house.
Unfortunately, I cannot bring myself to allow her to move back in. All I can think about is the constant arguing due to her inability to handle the normal activities of daily life. She has no friends outside of our relationship – she alienated all of them before we met. Her mother does not support her emotionally what-so-ever, is very controlling, and treats her like she’s a child (she’s 28). She doesn’t have a job, hasn’t finished college, and doesn’t have a car.
Monetarily I have the ability to support her and the baby (and have been for our entire relationship), but I don’t know if I have the emotional shoulders to continue handling everything that she’s going through. Her instability is starting to cause physical changes with me. I’m developing depression and an anxiety disorder associated with her projecting, and I cannot take it anymore.
Does anyone have a suggestion? I want to be as supportive as I can, but I can’t let her back into my life to the degree that it was. We haven’t gone a week in the last 6 months without some crazy blowout fight, and now it’s worse. Even now with her living out of the house I’ve had to field phone calls that end up with frustrated arguments about why she can’t just move back.
Currently I pay for her cell phone, health insurance, and I’m giving her money every week for the baby. I’ve told her that if she gets treatment, and shows promising signs of progress, that I will let her move back in, but I can’t stand the arguing. I’ve been beaten down for too long.
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Information on this website is intended only to increase knowledge on postpartum issues. We do not intend to offer medical advice, legal advice, or treatment of any kind. It is important to note that information on this site is not a replacement for diagnosis or treatment by a health care professional.
The stories on this website are all true. The names have been changed to protect the privacy of the contributors.
I’m coming apart.
My now ex-girlfriend Justine and I have been having some difficulties that pre-existed our baby being born 4 months ago. There have been arguments where she has broken things, screamed at the top of her lungs, cried out that she was being raped and attacked so the neighbors would call the police on me, and the list goes on and on.
Since the baby has been born things have gotten worse. Up until very very recently she has refused treatment, claiming that she can beat what it was that she was going through, and she didn’t want to be “labelled”.
I find myself now emotionally unable to deal with any of the things that she’s going through. My analogy for all of this is not unlike a swimming pool. I feel like she’s the pool of water and I’ve been trying to tread in it. Constantly, and without fail, I’ve had my head put underwater without adequate time to regain my breath.
Justine and I broke up earlier this week, and she took the baby with her. I feel like I’ve been able to get out of the pool, but now she’s chasing me with a garden hose, and it’s making me afraid of the water.
She’s agreed to get treatment, but she’s crying to me on the phone nearly daily about how she just wants her family back, and how I need to be super supportive, and how she wants to move back into the house.
Unfortunately, I cannot bring myself to allow her to move back in. All I can think about is the constant arguing due to her inability to handle the normal activities of daily life. She has no friends outside of our relationship – she alienated all of them before we met. Her mother does not support her emotionally what-so-ever, is very controlling, and treats her like she’s a child (she’s 28). She doesn’t have a job, hasn’t finished college, and doesn’t have a car.
Monetarily I have the ability to support her and the baby (and have been for our entire relationship), but I don’t know if I have the emotional shoulders to continue handling everything that she’s going through. Her instability is starting to cause physical changes with me. I’m developing depression and an anxiety disorder associated with her projecting, and I cannot take it anymore.
Does anyone have a suggestion? I want to be as supportive as I can, but I can’t let her back into my life to the degree that it was. We haven’t gone a week in the last 6 months without some crazy blowout fight, and now it’s worse. Even now with her living out of the house I’ve had to field phone calls that end up with frustrated arguments about why she can’t just move back.
Currently I pay for her cell phone, health insurance, and I’m giving her money every week for the baby. I’ve told her that if she gets treatment, and shows promising signs of progress, that I will let her move back in, but I can’t stand the arguing. I’ve been beaten down for too long.